


One night you were gone

by 8honey



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Bottom Steve Rogers, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, lots and lots of blood mention, tuberculosis is a d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25075279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8honey/pseuds/8honey
Summary: Steve and Bucky, two best friends, two kids from Brooklyn. How lucky was Steve to meet someone like Bucky?Steve didn't know a change of tone when he suddenly gets diagnosed with a life threatening disease.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 17





	1. News

_"I'm with you till the end of the line pal."_

Was the only words Steve heard when the doctor's words rang into his ears.

It was one faithful night in Brooklyn when Steve began to cough out blood. His thoughts began to swirl when he started realizing something is wrong, yes he has asthma normal, but this? This wasn't so normal. Even if he wanted too, he couldn't ask Buck for help either he was at work busy trying to pay off the rent for this month. He looked solemnly at his palm that had a thick blood slug. He got up to wash his hands. Still contemplating whether or not to call his doctor, surely this might no be so bad right?

"Hello? Mr. Albert." Steve said as he held the black plastic kind of phone close to his ear.

"Yes Rogers, what is it now." Mr. Albert said.

"I-I have something it's weird I um- just awhile ago I coughed out blood and I think there's something wrong... I have seen my mom cough out blood but I-"

He was cut off by Mr. Albert interrupting.

"Oh Steve, I'll have to call you later to arrange an appointment. Is James there?"

Steve weakly shook his head even though he couldn't see it. "No, he isn't."

"Okay, I'll call you back tell me when he's there okay?" And Mr. Albert hanged up. Steve was somehow convinced that this was nothing at all just something minor. His mother, Sarah died of Tuberculosis but he never really got to see her in and out of treatment. She always seemed to be in and out of the Sanatorium either at home coughing away, while the doctors triedto help him by moving him away from her or burning Sarah's stuff

Sometimes Steve was able to talk to her for maybe a few minutes or so. The little Steve even gets to remember any of the conversations day by day. But in some way or another, they were still meaningful talks until she passed away. Then afterward, Steve met Buck Steve knew how to get by on his own, he didn't need to be under Bucky's roof for it. It wasn't a priority. Steve didn't know how to repay Bucky for all that he's done for him.

-

Bucky arrived home later than usual. He hung his jacket calling out for Steve.

"Hey, Steve! I'm home!"

No response? Strange. Bucky went upstairs as per usual to check on Steve. Steve's whole body was shaking as his hands were covering his face trying not to spill out on the sink. Clasping hard to the frame of the sink trying not to collapse. He was fine a while ago? Why is it much worse? He began violently hacking suddenly tears started to well up in his eyes as he looked into the mirror. He couldn't hold in the blood anymore. As he gazed into the mirror, his reflection showed his mouth covered in just blood. Staining some bits of his shirt while at it. He didn't know what to do. He heard the annoying creak the bathroom door makes every time.

"Steve?" Bucky said opening the door quietly until he realized the horror sight right in front of him. There was blood almost everywhere on Steve it smelled so metallic. And it almost looked as if those murder scenes from the 1900s play almost.

"Bucky- I can't" Steve tried to finish his sentence he just began coughing violently.

Without a word being uttered, Bucky grabbed Steve's handwashing off the blood and holding him tightly. Which may or may not help him in that case scenario. But what would you do?

"God Rogers what happened," Bucky remarked still washing the bloodstains off the sink. "We need to bring you back to Mr. Albert again." Steve sighed feeling his lungs no longer being tight as much. Taking in deep breaths. As Bucky held onto his waist still cleaning it off his shirt.

"I honestly don't know Buck. I have never experienced this before." Steve answered. Bucky shook his head in disbelief and almost sadness.

"Steve it's Tuberculosis," Bucky said bluntly taking Steve by the arm and helping him downstairs. Steve tried to take in the severity of the situation. Tuberculosis? He was showing symptoms of it he is going to die after all?

Bucky laid him on the couch to rest for a bit and gave him a glass of water. He couldn't believe it either. "Maybe it isn't Tuberculosis?" Bucky tried to reassure Steve not to try to let him dampen his mood a bit.

"I appreciate it," Steve said with a solemn smile just a bit. He knew this could potentially make him being already too sick a problem.

"But I think you have a point, Buck, what's not to say I don't have it," Steve said taking a sip of his water. Bucky looked down for a moment and took the phone and started dialing for Mr. Albert.

Steve knew how much this was for Bucky. He knew Bucky cared so much for him and even than helped him and paid for almost of all Steve's medical bills. Steve felt his eyes getting heavy and all he could hear was the background noises of Bucky panicked tone as he tried to explain what happened to Steve.

-

All that Steve remembers is going for that appointment and then being told that he might have Tuberculosis like his own mother. He wasn't a healthy kid he was abnormal for having so many health-related issues.

It's a lucky thing that his mother was a nurse and she knew how to take care of him. Bucky will soon later learn that too.

"Mr. Barnes, we need to get him checked him up tomorrow again for an X-ray, and we'll update you if there's anything else you need to know." Mr. Albert said looking sadly at Steve.

"No problem Doc!" Bucky said The more tall framed guy stood up and shook hands with Mr. Albert.

"Thank you Mr. Albert for your help it's been a pleasure." And Steve and Bucky began to walk out of his office.

Steve looked so solemnly while going back he didn't utter a word at all knowing full well what's going to happen to him. Bucky noticed that and put his arm around his shoulder and patted his back.

"Hey, pal it's fine... it's probably in the early stage of Tuberculosis.." Bucky somehow always knew how to make Steve better even if this time his charm wasn't working.

"Bucky, I-I don't know.. you know what happened to Sarah-" Steve said sniffling a bit keeping his head low. No matter the situation he still kept an optimistic mindset trying not to let it get in the way of things.

Bucky immediately retorted back. "Hey-hey.. relax bud I'll get you some ice cream how about it?"

Steve's face lightened up a bit knowing him being childish he smiled a bit wider and said "Make it vanilla!"

"Deal!" And the both of them laughed like old friends did and walked to the ice cream parlor downtown.

"That would be $2," the man said as he handed one vanilla-flavored cone and one chocolate flavored one.

"Oh wait Steve hold the ice creams I need to get my wallet." He dug into his pants and fished out the wallet sheepishly. Bucky handed $4 and simply replied "Keep the change."

Bucky works hard and when he always gets his pay he ends up using mostly all of it up buying pointless things for Steve, and going on dates to see fine ladies panties. And all that crap.

Bucky doesn't spend his money well and Steve keeps reminding him that. But he often forgets and just does it anyway. No wonder the landlord is already getting mad.

-

Steve was dressing up to go to bed right across from Bucky's bed. "Hey, Steve do you want to share my bed tonight?" He said with a little blush on his face. Steve played it of smiling a little a bit "Yeah sure why not?"

Steve climbed into Bucky's bed and although it barely fit 2 people Steve managed anyway and was able to fit inside because of his small stature. Bucky instantly fell asleep yet Steve was still trying to adjust his position.Steve than felt Bucky's arms lapse onto Steve's body bringing him into a hug. He didn't know what to do and felt rather afraid to say anything but he let it slide, as he felt the comfort and warmth that Bucky was giving to him. He hated to admit that he wanted to feel how it was like to sleep with someone. He let himself sink into Bucky feeling almost at peace.

One thing that Steve fondly remembers about Bucky is the fact he stood up for him when he was a lot younger, it was strange. Out of anyone why him? And why was it whenever the kids stole his lunch money he'll always get it back from Bucky at the end of the day? Why does Bucky the strong man, who gets all the ladies want to hang out with some blonde skinny dude? It never really made sense to him maybe that's why he learned to value over Bucky more than ever because he looked past him that other people couldn't see. 

But the fact Bucky always went on double dates with Steve and the only way girls notice Steve's presence was through Bucky. But no one cares though because everyone will always forget about him.

-

Steve snuggled harder as Bucky pulled closer to his chest.What was he supposed to feel about his best friend hugging and spooning him to sleep? He honestly doesn't know. And why did Bucky ask for him to sleep with him on that bed for that night? 

Steve couldn't tell. He loves Bucky, yes that's obvious but in a sense of having romantic feelings about the very person that keeps you sane a normal thing? Was it normal? These questions rang through his head maybe he should get sleep.

-

Steve never counts his blessings because he only has one and that one is what's he is truly grateful for.


	2. The Appointment

Steve opened his eyes, he than sitting up on the small twin bed that they could afford. Somehow, both of them could fit in one twin bed. It does help that Steve's thin frame gives more space.

They both have their own beds, but Bucky's bed often goes unused. For some reason, both of them would be like kids again and put pillows on the floor. And maybe sometimes, when Steve feels like it, he’ll sleep on Bucky's bed too.

-

The light shined brightly through the room as Bucky put up the curtains. Steve began to cover his eyes from the light as Bucky snickered at him from the blatant “pretending to sleep.”

"Ugh, can I just sleep more I'm not feeling so good Buck..." Steve said slyly. Bucky gave a glare as he opened his curtains and walked pass by the never used bed they have.

Steve sat up and yawned looking fondly at Bucky. For some reason, the blanket was pulled up to his chest. He recalled the blanket not being pulled up at all.

"Hey hotshot, you better be dressing up right about now your X-ray is around in an hour," Bucky said taking off his tank top revealing his backside that looked so smooth and fleshy like, unlike Steve’s. People notice right away how lanky Steve is to the point where some of his backbones show right through his shirt.

"I guess so-" Steve muttered trying to take his eyes away from Bucky changing.

-

In about an hour they begin to walk downtown where the famed antic shops that Steve likes to wander around and look at potential stuff they could buy.And then there’s the doctor’s office almost two blocks away from the antic shop.

-

"Mr. Barnes and Mr. Rogers, I hope you two are doing just fine." Mr. Albert began rubbing his hands in excitement.

"Thank you, honestly, Mr. Albert," Bucky said smiling.

"Well, why don't we get into the procedure shall we?" Of course, Steve took his shirt off and had the x-ray. And well from the look of Mr. Albert's face he seemed scared. For the well being of Steve frighten almost.

He noticed that his coughing has been gone for several hours but he could feel a slight tightness coming back from his lungs almost. Of course, Steve shrugged it off and tried not to make a big deal about it.

"Well, Jame we'll give you a ring if we get an update on how about it?" Bucky nodded and simply smiled.

He told Steve to rest for a while because that's the only thing they could recommend. And Bucky was instructed to take care of him.

Nothing unusual had seemed to happen for the past few days until maybe an episode where Steve would cough off some drops of blood but not as severe as what happened the last time. Until the results came in.

"Mr. Barnes- I have to break it to you.." Mr. Albert said in the phone with a worried tone, Bucky listened attentively.

"Yes? Did the results came in Doc'? Is everything okay?" Bucky sounded so worried Steve was just in the other room sketching out something.

Steve sounded as if he was dying at that very moment.

-

"I'm afraid that.. Steve has Tuberculosis spreading through on the left side of his lung." Mr. Albert continued "At first we thought it maybe be also pneumonia.." Mr. Albert said his voice cracking through the call. "But I'm afraid Steve would have to start treatment at the Sanatorium next month.."

The hacking got louder Steve sounded almost like he was being choked to death as if all of his air supply has been taking away from him.

"Doc Steve's he-"

"Bucky, please keep your distance away from Steve at all costs. Unless you want to be infected too-"Bucky panicked for a moment. Yes, potentially he could get the illness but did it really stop him from trying to help Steve?

“I have to go Doc thank you.” And Bucky abruptly ended the call and quickly tended to Steve. He didn’t really care if he’s going to get sick, Steve was the one who could potentially die from it more likely than he could.

Steve's eyes were teary, you could see the pain in his eyes he had no idea why the sudden tightness in his chest started to get worse. 

"Buck..." Steve said than finally coughing out blood down to the wooden floorboard. He stopped and looked Bucky dead in the eye. 

"I'm diagnosed with Tuberculosis is it.." Steve said with a hint of sadness. 

"I'm afraid yes- I don't know the chances of you dying I-" Steve stood up, and pushed away Bucky he seemed... normal I guess? He walked over there and called Doc'

-

One thing Steve knows about this illness is never seeing your loved one ever. Maybe in around 6-3 months but that's slim. You're constantly sick and have to be moved away to prevent people from catching it.

You have to be "healthy" and that's one thing Steve doesn’t have. Theoretically, he could work out and maybe eat a little bit more but the amount of sicknesses he has is just preventing him. He doesn’t even know if he’s going to live the next day so why bother? 

He couldn’t tell what’s worse than being sent to the physic ward and being separated from the very person that made you sane.

-

He probably would like to die from this illness to get away from that.

Through experience, it was painfully hard to see his Mother being sad not being able to interact with her own son.

The thought of leaving Bucky and never coming back to hug him pains him. Let alone for maybe even a year. He wants Bucky to be healthy, there should be another option. Hell he would die for this person 

The person who would die for him too. 

It's been a week and no sign of this illness ever going away. Of course, apparently, Steve has to sit and rest. But not always. 

Occasionally he gotta go outside... right? 

Maybe he can go buy some ice cream at the expense of Bucky not being there. No that's just not fun then...

Nevermind, he has extra pocket money to waste why not?

-

It was like a familiar scene that played out again like always. He was in an alleyway beaten up by some douche bag like always. 

'How the fuck did this happen. How the hell did I get into another damn fight? I'm already too weak to fight anymore I-'He thought to himself.

-

The constant monologing got him into probably horrible situations like this. Where he stares to often and just likes to think about the person, how are they like, what's their interest, and all that. 

But boy, does Steve does this often both to men and women. And this mostly gets him beaten up, other than that trying to act like a hero. That's almost how it always ends. 

"That's what you get for staring at my girl!" The guy continued to harass Steve his nose bleeding and probably broken. His lungs were going haywire and began coughing out blood again.

Ugh, blood began to stain his shirt due to some of the injuries he was getting. 

He didn't even want to defend himself. 

This was very unusual because mostly he wouldn't sit there and get hurt like a dame. No, this was very unlike him. He could use the moves he had been learning from Bucky but everything was just too painful to even stand up. 

He felt like actually dying right there and give up he won he lost. This was so unlike Steve he couldn't blame it.

He was sick, what was he supposed to do? Instead, he takes it like the wimp everyone perceives him off.

That's when the asshole stopped kicking him and ran away leaving him in the alleyway of the very same Ice cream shop. 

Steve began to cough more onto the floor, he noticed that his valuables and even his keys were gone. 

Shit. 

'Bucky won't be very surprised huh?' He thought to himself he passed out in the Alley next to whoever god knows what creatures lie there.Will Bucky ever come to his rescue.. ? He begins to think.

-

Bucky walked past the familiar Ice cream shop just right down the street next to Doc's office also near their apartment.

"I got a 50 cents to raise maybe I think Steve would be proud- " His thoughts were interrupted by hearing his name being called out. 

"Bucky.." It sounded so faint where was it coming from?"Over here" and there he was. Steve's white shirt was covered in his own blood while he had a black eye heaving for air. 

"Oh, Steve.." Bucky said helping him up. He carried his arm over his shoulder and walked him home. 

"How long have you been there.." Bucky asked worried yet disappointed it seemed like Steve didn't even defend himself this time during the fight. 

"I-I don't know maybe this afternoon?.." Steve said coughing out some more blood. It was 9 pm. 

"Did anyone pass by and tried to help?" He said 'Tried' used very loosely. 

Steve giggled knowing full well no one did.

"No hah.." Maybe, Steve, had some fucked up kink about getting punched and harassed Bucky didn't know off. He sighed to himself. 

"Well Steve, pal, you can always know 'run'?" Bucky said looking at Steve who really didn't pay attention. 

"I think there was a blood trail behind them." Steve thought it was too dark to notice but oh well. 

Steve quietly sighed and said, "you're right." 

Bucky smiled at hearing that, he knows he's stubborn as hell and never listens to his advice. But for once, he actually decided to actually listen and not be dumb! 

"Hey, who even said you were allowed to get out of the house?" Bucky questioned. Steve smiled and giggled to himself. 

"I honestly couldn't be trapped there for a long period of time you know someone needs my help," Steve said trying to act like a hero 

"Of course someone fucking does." And there goes the old Steve again.

-

They walked back home, from there silently Steve was too weak to talk. He laid him down over at Bucky's bed the one to the left. 

"Promise me Steve don't ever fucking do anything like that.."Bucky said taking one of his bandages and wrapping it around the slight wound on his arm and wiping off his bloody nose. Bucky wandered on his face for a bit looking closely at his details. 

Trust me I won't.." Steve said shutting his eyes smiling to himself of course he's going to fucking do it again. He's Steve Rogers. 

Bucky rolled his eyes to that and opened the small lamp they had and he began to take off his shirt ready for bed. 

"Hey, I'm going to miss work this week and keep you from doing stupid shit like this," Bucky said sitting in bed next to Steve. 

"Yeah you go do that I'll do it anyway-" Steve teased. 

Bucky smiled and closed the lights as the sheets were pulled closer. 

"Ugh, good night Steve," Bucky said. 

"Goodnight Buck." Bucky then captured the lips of Steve giving him a good night's kiss. 

One thing, they never have done that before...Huh, Steve thought... That was new.


	3. Dates and Dames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a completely smut filled chapter! You have been warned!

Steve and Bucky woke up in an odd position, last night's kiss was something quite unforgettable.

You see, Steve has had feelings for Bucky ever since he met the young clad. He was muscular, charming, funny, basically anything you can list he got it.

But it doesn't help ladies who wear all those makeup smudging lipstick all over their plastic faces swooning over James Barnes over here.

Steve was a nobody, other than if provoked, would fight back but lose in the end anyway. He was more than a loser to Bucky, maybe that's why at the time Bucky helped him up.

If that was the case, why did Bucky Barnes kiss him last night? With no question? Steve couldn't wrap his mind over that it was hard to anyway.

He laid there on the bed, while Bucky, was still hugging him tightly. You could say he didn't get any sleep from overthinking that night.

"Being gay is a sin,it shouldn't be allowed!" Sarah would scream at Steve. Steve barely grasped that concept yet, he was just curious. That's why he asked his mom.

Steve looked dumbfounded at his mom while his mom would go on a tangent about how it was disobeying God and all that.

"Look at me while I talk Steve!" Sarah pulled Steve's attention.

"You and Bucky are just friends.. don't ever get the wrong idea."

He was just... so sexually confused. If it was wrong, why did Bucky kiss him that night? Thank the lord he patched him up, but it made no sense...

-

Steve turned to look back at Bucky his eyes closed snoring lightly. Steve tapped on him while Bucky's exposed chest hugged him tighter.

"Bucky wake up.." Steve said laughing a bit "You're choking me." He said jokingly. Bucky than arose up quickly and worried too.

"Steve, did I hurt you?" He snorted taking a glance at Steve while keeping his grip on him.

Steve laughed "Of course not." Steve continued " I was going to ask why did you kiss me last..night.."

Steve never gets kisses hell he's still a virgin. But Bucky over here is some Specimen. Coming home drunk with a seduced dame, scaring the living shit out of Steve.

Next thing you know, you can hear loud sex going upstairs while Steve is mortified and neighbors coming up to Steve's door to complain.

"I-I mean Steve, I kinda like you-" The brunette said putting his hand into Steve's soft blonde hair.

"Is that all I am to you..? One of your play toys? The dames you go with-" Steve was caught off guard by Bucky pulling in closer and kissing him more.

Steve liked that feeling, the lust feeling. Wait. He isn't supposed to be doing this! Not only is he sick, but he could spread it to Bucky!

"Buck-" Steve said trying to push Bucky away as Bucky's tongue explored deeper into Steve's mouth.

"Mhmm," Bucky said pulling him tighter tasting Steve's plump pink lips. This was better than any dame he ever had he thought. He liked the way Steve was so.. how do you say it? Submissive.?

"Bucky!" Steve said with all his strength pushed Bucky away.

"I-can't I'm sick, and besides, I never actually never.." Steve fumbled with his words trying to keep his eyes low and Bucky raised an eyebrow.

"Never what?" Bucky said having a sly look on his face.

"I never fondued before.."

Steve said trying to hide his face, and oh Bucky couldn't even keep a straight face and he burst out into laughter.

"Fondued? Steve, oh man.. that's bread and cheese!" Bucky said trying to look at Steve straight in the eye. Steve was so confused was that really the meaning?

"It's sex, by the way, I also never experienced this type of sex before." Bucky continued looking at Steve who was already blushing.

"I only had it with ladies never guys," Bucky said looking at Steve's lower part.

"I too!" Steve said trying to hide his boner.

Steve has seen Bucky naked multiple times, it's the norm for him. He's seen his dick multiple times to. The thing is he could never stop staring at it.

Bucky's dick was perfectly curved, huge, and had a nice tip at the end. While Steve's one was quite tiny, and say the least straight.

-

Bucky stopped teasing and stood up yawning loudly while Steve hid his growing boner underneath the sheets. 

"What is it then Bucky..? Are we friends..? Am I-" Bucky then interrupted. 

"I actually don’t know...I guess I have always liked you,just never had the guts to say it huh.." Bucky continued, "Don't ever doubt yourself Rogers just because I go on dates with dames. I never even liked them anyway."

-

Huh, the notorious Sergeant Barnes is gay? Keeping his masculinity by dating random sluts is what Steve thought to himself. Maybe all of this was just some bad dream or something. This can't be real. 

No fucking way it should.

He has feelings for him but never did once did it cross his mind that he'll ever reciprocate feelings for him. 

Bucky took off his pants, dropping it to the floor revealing his large dick. Huh. Larger then he remembered it. 

"Like what you see?" Bucky purred, stroking it and pumped it.

Steve's face went entirely red he shouldn't be looking that's wrong! Bucky must be high on something god. 

Steve's breathing got faster and his lungs felt like it was about to explode was it just him or was it hot in here? The uncomfortable itching in his pants wouldn’t go away, oh man. 

"Bucky- I" Steve got interrupted again by Bucky. 

"Come on, it would be fine, trust me on this," Bucky said going back on top of Steve, removing the sheets. 

"BUCKY!" Steve screamed out he began to palm his pants making him want more. His dick begged for more touching. He needed more skin. 

Steve softly moaned holding tight to Bucky's shoulders. He was a mess he shouldn't be enjoying this he's so fucking disgusting. He even closed his eyes to hide the shame of looking down. 

Bucky then suddenly kissed Steve back helping him a bit. Steve kissed back moaning a bit into the kiss. His tongue went and explored Bucky's mouth as he tasted the soft lips of Bucky Barnes. 

Why is he allowing himself to do this? Why didn't he stop him? Whatever he couldn't care less he just loved the feeling of Bucky grinding over him. His pants began to feel sticky... 

Oh, no...

"Bucky!" Steve screamed holding onto the larger hands of Bucky while he released his load into his pants. He felt sinful.

-

Steve began to pant, gasping for air this actually felt good.. Didn't mean he enjoyed it neither less. 

"We’re not done, Steve," Bucky said firmly. What has gotten into him? He sounds drunk when perfectly, Steve knows he never drank yesterday. 

Why was Bucky's soft tone suddenly sounding so dominant, he never heard that side of Bucky before...

-

"Wait- I don't think I can do this Buck," Steve said heaving heavily.

"Don't worry Steve neither have I, I’ll promise to take it slow," Bucky said crossing his fingers while he sat on top of the boy's throbbing dick.

Gosh, the thin layer of fabric between his legs and his dick is hurting. His dick is throbbing between Bucky's ass almost laying down bent. 

Steve went to hug Bucky hard his cold exposed chest between his was quite something he never felt. Buck began to suck the nape of Steve's neck feeling the little skin between them.

Steve moaned quietly oh man he never had hickeys before. He wanted to shut his mouth up the shit that was spewing out was disgusting but he couldn't help it.

"God Steve, the moans alone are so arousing I can give me a wank from that," Bucky commented sucking gently on Steve's chest. 

"Shut up Bucky this is weird.." Steve retorted bitting his lips so hard it might have drawn blood. Steve bit harder as Bucky began going down his pants, oh man is it.? 

"May I?" Bucky said smiling with a hint of lust in his eyes. 

"Just go and do it I don't ever want to do this again!" Steve said turning his head trying to hide his already red face.

-

Bucky removed his pants and what sprung up was so fascinating to Bucky. 

"Oh, my Steve-" Bucky said licking his lips.

"Shut up." Steve said "It's embarrassing I hate it," Steve said trying to cover it upholding his hands on the almost took-off pants. 

"No, no Steve it's better than I imagine. I never have done this before, I only receive it so, consider yourself lucky." Bucky said gently removing Steve's hand from covering his dick. 

-

Bucky slowly pumped the throbbing dick while Steve threw his head out and moaned. Oh god, it felt so good how is something so shameful feel so right Steve was about to climax until he felt something wet go amongst his shaft it was slimy, wet almost. 

That sent shivers down Steve's bare spine. Like electric shots shooting up at him with a wave of pleasure.

Bucky then licked his shaft up and down until he reached the tip licking the slit open. Oh, Steve couldn't handle it. 

He was heavily breathing and coughing to an extent.

"Oh god, Steve you taste so good why haven't I done this with you yet?" Bucky said teasingly, gosh he hasn't even put his entire mouth yet. 

"Oh, my god Buck-" Steve said trying to cover his mouth to the best of his ability. 

"Relax there pal, I'll be the one in charge today. You just have to breathe in and out. I'll be giving today."Bucky said smiling. 

Before he can say anything else, he felt warmth and wetness go past him making Steve moan louder than before. 

"Bucky!" Steve called out, he looked down to see Bucky deep throating the fuck out of him with his eyes looking back at him. He seems to enjoy this. 

Bucky began to move and up and down he went Steve sat up and began to hold Bucky's locks pushing him deeper. Bucky liked the way it felt, giving to his 'best friend' was something he loved to do.

"Bucky! I think I'm gonna!" And there he goes Steve shrieked as he released his load into Bucky's mouth. 

And Steve collapsed in exhaustion. He felt sweat drops forming over his head. His breathing getting faster. 

Bucky had a taste of Steve's cum and he drank it all up. He then removed the pants from the bed and sat up on Steve again. 

"That was fucking amazing Bucky," Steve said smiling one eye closed and his arm on his head.

"Gosh, I just want to fuck you right now Steve," Bucky said smiling giving a soft kiss on Steve's lips. Steve immediately sat up in shock.

"But how..?" Steve wonders if Bucky ever had an experience of ever doing a guy before. Or maybe the other way around...

"Well I don't know but maybe that pretty ass of yours may help. But I can't solely use saliva on you.. that will hurt." Bucky said thinking what he should do next. 

Steve is shaking at this point, hurt? Ass? My ass? What the hell is Bucky fucking saying here. Bucky began to wonder what lubrication he can use and then it hit him. 

"Wait here, Steve!" Bucky said running naked out of the room.

Of course, he fucking does. 

Steve lied on the bed waiting for whatever possible outcome might happen. Naked even. Bucky came back with a bottle of vegetable oil. Oil? What is he going to use the oil for- oh my god. 

"Steve promise me to relax, are you sure you're fine with this pal?" Steve nodded his head slowly as he gulped air in. Whatever Bucky was going to do, he hopes it's not as painful as it looks. 

He laid the Vegetable oil and began to slather his fingers with saliva.

"Steve lay on your chest." Steve did what Bucky said revealing Steve's ass. Bucky wanted to slap that ass hard but he knows Steve would react badly.

"Um Bucky what are you going to DO-" Steve said screaming as he suddenly felt something wet against his ass it was circling his ass. 

Bucky pushed his tongue in and out of the rim and stopped. 

"Bucky! Stop teasing!" Steve whined. Bucky gave a smug look and replied.

"As much as I want to feast on your ass all day, I still have a date at 3 so I gotta make this quick," Bucky said smugly. 

Goddammit, Bucky is going on another date again? He thought he was enough. Steve was mistaken. 

"Are you really? I thought you were going to take care of me today.." Steve said looking grimly at the metal bed stand.

"I was kidding Steve, I won't ever go on awful dates anymore I have you," Bucky said smiling and Steve blushed lightly.

"Gosh stop being so cheesy!" Steve said Bucky couldn't help but laugh. Gosh, he was cheesy. "Just go do what you have to do!" 

Bucky then slathered more of his saliva sucking on his fingers and then dipping his fingers in the oil. 

"Okay relax Rogers, this might hurt a bit."

"Hurt..?" And then a sharp pain came crashing through Steve's body as the first finger pushed through his ass. 

Steve inhaled sharply trying to make his breathing stable again. 

"Relax breathe in and out don't be so tense, it will hurt more," Bucky advised. 

Steve became calmer as his best friend- wait should he be called best friend even? Who knows... Bucky than was able to make Steve's muscles loose grip so he slowly, but carefully pushed in and out. 

Steve loved the feeling. He was moaning for more to go faster. 

And it was just one finger. 

So Bucky inserted two more fingers making Steve scream out for more. 

"Bucky... I need more..-" he said. 

Bucky then removed his fingers, making Steve feel empty. Steve whined like a baby he wanted to feel more goddammit. Bucky smiled at the pouting Steve Rogers, he never seen him like that. 

"Well Steve, that was just stretching, we haven't gotten to the real thing yet." Bucky reminded.

Steve looked mortified by the looks of it though. Bucky then comforted the begging Steve Rogers 

"Look, Steve, are you sure you're ready.? We can stop if we want-" 

Bucky tried to remind him he never done anything like this before, and will never force Steve to do anything without his consent.

"Go ahead Bucky, I want to feel you inside of me," Steve said as he spread his legs wide still lying on his chest.

Bucky smiled and said, "You do love to get hurt huh.?" Bucky continued "Go on your back now, I want to see your pretty mouth scream my name." Bucky said. 

Steve absolutely is loving this. I think the embarrassment and shame washed away because this might actually be true love. Real connections. And it did feel so fucking good. 

Steve did what Bucky said and Bucky then slathered a generous amount of oil, covered in saliva on his dick.

He held Steve's legs up, and then he slowly pushed into Steve's ass. Steve began to moan loudly.

Not those soft little moans, full-blown ones. This was driving his senses crazy. His breathing pace was even getting higher.

But somehow in a good way. 

Steve kept on repeating Bucky's name over and over softly. Telling him to go faster, and he always did. He's hitting his prostate at this point and Bucky's sweating. 

"Huh, you're such a slut, Steve," Bucky commented, and then Steve opened his eyes partly enjoying the way his body bobbles.

"I'm your slut then," Steve said feeling himself coming closer to climax. 

"Bucky I'm coming!" Steve said pumping his dick up and down and suddenly all the cum spewed out spilling over Steve's chest and all over Bucky's too. 

Bucky finished the last few pumps and released his load into Steve.

They both collapsed on each other both over-stimulated as fuck. Bucky smiles over at Steve and plants a soft kiss on his lips. 

"Promise never to leave me again?" Steve said to Bucky almost half asleep.

-

"Promise."


	4. No other way

It's been over a week already, not even a month has passed yet. And the illness has gotten worse. Maybe it was due to the thing that happened a few days back.?

As usual, Bucky would be hugging Steve to sleep but this time when he woke up he was nowhere to be seen.

Huh.

Where is Bucky? Maybe he went to work earlier than usual. If that was the case he would have said bye to him at least. Steve grumbled fixing the small bed the two boys stayed in.

Steve doesn't want to admit that he needs Bucky, and wants to convince himself he can perfectly do everything himself.

But both of them know that is not the case.

Steve coughed a bit like always, but the sign of blood wasn't always prominent. That should be good right? He shouldn't be coughing dangerous amount of blood that means he's getting better.. right..? 

He could feel almost half his body draining from that he doesn't even know where the stamina came from during that time when they had it.

_Apparently, sex makes it magically better!_

He still is quite confused with his sexuality, whether that's a good thing or not. But what he knows, is that Bucky maybe is the only one for him...

He took care of him, helped him when no one else wanted to. He's an extremely lucky kid. Both of them were made for each other.

Steve began to cough again covering his mouth in the process. What came out wasn't pretty.

"Blood? Again!" Steve said.

He went to the sink and began to slowly wash his boney hands. Yes, he was dying, and no amount of exercise will help. There may be only 'one' treatment available.

But is it worth it?

Leaving the people you love, being forced to do things you don't want. And in the end, you will always have the same damn faith.

 ** _Death_**.

Steve should have known this was coming by now, death's going to past him whether he likes it, or not. Either natural or from this illness eventually everyone is going to have to go through it.

He's going to die first and Bucky will be left alone. Or maybe Bucky will die first, after all, he's been serving in the war.Hell, he's going to leave for England in the next two months. He might as fucking well spend it with ol' dying Steve here.

-

Steve can't sit here wasting away his life, not without Bucky. Not with the person he's been longing for all his life.

He might as well go watch some cartoons near the theater, get some of his favorite snacks, go watch a game or something anything. At least not alone.

Steve weakly looked at himself in the mirror his thin frame and his small size with his chest popping out.

Pathetic.

He may never run from a fight but he sure as hell will die in a fight.

-

Bucky walked home, as usual, whistling his favorite jazz tunes he used to hear in the bar. He had in his hand holding onto a paper bag bagged leftovers, of Steve's favorite food.

He'll come home, and hug Steve. That's what he always does. Ever since he promised last night, he will never go on a date with a dame.

He never wants to call himself 'unfaithful' but those ladies do love to convince him when he's drunk.

He came back home awaiting a hug. He looked around a bit trying to spot Steve."Steve?" Bucky called out after hanging his jacket.

No response.

"Steve, pal I got some food you like!" Bucky said he began climbing upstairs.

_No response._

The thoughts in his mind began to go haywire. Is Steve dead? Why was he not answering? Bucky slowly opened the door to their room to reveal. 

Nobody. 

Huh. Where the hell is Steven Grant Rogers. 

A sigh of relief washed through Bucky, maybe he's out somewhere he just got to find him.

Steve was somewhere, again, in the back alley. This time half dead-er before. He was at the alleyway of the theater nearby, this entire situation seemed so familiar to him. 

He called out on someone's bullshit and then gets beaten up but at midnight. And Bucky wasn't there to save him. The entire situation felt like a different scenario but at a different time. As y' know, Déjà vu. 

He remembers this situation so clearly but in another place, in the time he couldn’t quite place his finger on it, he wasn't sick and even tried to get the garbage can lid and try to defend himself. 

But that never happened ever. This was current, hell he never even fucking defended himself. Yes, he gets himself into dumb situations. Maybe all of them are familiar then. 

Huh. Steve sighed coughing more blood onto the floor. I guess he’s going to die here. He felt as his eyes were about to close. 

He could feel himself succumbing to the sickness slowly but surely taking his breath away. He tried gasping for air and tried to get up but he didn’t have the strength. 

He wanted to scream Bucky's name he wants to but nothing is coming out from his mouth.

This is it. That’s how he’s going to die. 

"Steve! Where are you?" A familiar voice called out through the dead of night. 

"Bucky..?" Steve said whispering he closed his eyes. Hoping he's here. He has to save him.

He's going to save him 

Two legs walked past him and the shoes looked familiar. With all his strength, he put his hands out and let the man step on him then... 

"STEVE!" Bucky called out. As he swooped Steve up to him realizing he wasn’t able to respond or really move. 

"Steve are you okay?" Steve didn't even answer he was dying he's going to die he's.

He closed his eyes for a little bit, which felt like a long time.

-

All he could hear at the end was Bucky calling his name several times each passing moment was him growing closer and closer to the realization.

He didn't want to leave.

Steve was practically lifeless, he tried reaching out but his breath became even shorterHe didn't want to die from his illness just yet. 

Bucky began to panic trying to wake him up as his breathing became shorter. “Steve please!” Bucky cried. He didn’t know what to exactly do should he rush to the nearest hospital? It was too far away and by then he might have succumbed to his illness. 

Bucky carried Steve holding onto his hand placing his head on his chest trying to hear for a pulse. Bucky's tears began to flow like a dam that has broken. He hoped to god there was a pulse. 

No pulse. 

He's gone. 

And the worse way yet on him. 

Steve's lifeless body was on Bucky's hands. He could have saved him. If only if he was there earlier. Hell, why the fuck didn't anyone want to help him? 

This was all his fault.

All his fault. 

Bucky stood solemnly crying on Steve’s body trying to make sense of what just happened still clutching on him holding his hands tightly. 

He held his buddy close to his arms. Making sure he died knowing he was there. He looked down to see Steve's fucked up face. 

God, what did he do to deserve this? The tears that Bucky's been having fell onto's Steve's bloodied shirt 

He could have died more fucking peacefully.

-

It's been over a week since the funeral was over. The funeral, that Bucky made. Apparently, Steve's possessions had to be burned. Due to some health hazards. For some bizarre reason, Bucky never caught Tuberculosis even though he was always with Steve.

The only thing he could keep was his bloodied white shirt. He died in. He kept it there. Near his one bed.

-

"Life has been quite hard without Steve.." Bucky would say to his friends over at the bar, trying to not cast a tear.

"I mean, it has always has been. I fucking miss him y'know.?" Bucky said continuing holding onto his beer pint closer to him. 

"Maybe if I were there early I would have potentially saved his life. And he might be here today."

Bucky said taking a sip from his beer. 

He would get drunk more often than usual to make himself better. He knows he shouldn't be drinking, he knows Steve wouldn't like that. 

But it was his only way to cope. 

Bucky brought fresh flowers and visited Steve's grave. “I'm with you till the end of the line pal," Bucky muttered softly as he laid the flowers there.

**Author's Note:**

> I originally had this fanfic on Ao3 for awhile but I deleted it. Now i’m starting to get back into Steve/Bucky so I decided to edit and rewrite my old story from 2018 so here’s the first chapter and I hope you enjoy it <3


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